Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
