I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
