I just made out with a guy for $7.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
