she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
