We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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