I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
