it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
