remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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