what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
