I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
