when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
