Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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