Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
