we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize