I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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