He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
