I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
