Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
