it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize