The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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