The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
