the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize