On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
