First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
