the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
