love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just pee around me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
