On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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