i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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