Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Your cock deserves a montage
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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