This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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