Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
