just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
