no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
