I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
