Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize