I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
