There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
