Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
