pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
