i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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