Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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