Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
