Kiss
Puke
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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