I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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