420 ftw
it was like eating out sand paper
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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