making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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