Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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