I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
