you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
