I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
