you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
40s are totally the cure
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
