She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
