loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
