I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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