haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
