Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize