he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
