Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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