you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
