this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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