I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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