we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
